Daily Reflection – Distractions

I’ve been very fond of my brain over the years. I’ve always enjoyed the things it can do. Its ability to think outside the box and look at things from a different angle. Its talent for logic and mental arithmetic and seeing mathematical patterns. Its creativity.

My brain can’t do everything that some people’s can. Well, not without training. But I’m happy with the things it can do. It’s brought me a long way.

There are two issues I have with my brain, though. One is my memory. I do hold on to a lot of trivial facts, especially when it comes to 20th century music. But my memory of life events, conversations and other important moments is very poor. I recall my feelings, but not the details of the circumstances that brought them about.

The other issue is distractions, and this is the one that frustrates me the most. While there are times that I can become engrossed in a conversation, performance or activity, I find that far too much of the time my brain is overactive, running through past or future scenarios, not allowing me to live in the moment and enjoy now.

I’ve been practising daily meditation sessions for nearly six months, but if anything, distractions are becoming more frequent.

But what feels even worse is distracted prayer. I’m talking to the Creator of the universe about what’s most important to me, and trying to discern what’s most important to Him, and I suddenly find myself wondering if I need to go shopping today. That’s a mild example. I realise what’s happening, and bring myself back to prayer, apologise, and continue until the next diversion of my train of thought.

God knows me and understands and forgives me, but I find it so hard to forgive myself. I wouldn’t mind if I was distracted by an external factor like a car horn. But when it’s internal it just feels so disrespectful. I’m annoyed, and almost ashamed of myself.

Once or twice I’ve experienced what I thought was a distraction, but then realised was a response to my prayer. I’ve been asking what should I do, and then imagined myself doing what God would want. Sadly most of the time my brain is taking me on a fruitless and/or fanciful road of retrospection or speculation.

I’m not sure how to solve this, or if it will solve itself in time. For now, the best I can do is be kind to myself and remain friends with my brain. We do have some good times together!

Prayer for Anxiety and Depression

Dear God, the heaviness of the world weighs on me and while I know You are in charge and You have my best interests at heart, I am struggling. My worries and the worries of the world crush me and bear me to the ground. O Lord, help me understand that You are the one holding me up, and that You will prevail against this darkness in me. Deliver me from the Valley of Death. Your love can heal all and I ask that you lift me from this pit of despair and surround me in Your incredible love and light. Let me see You in everything, Lord, that I may rise above this, in Your arms, and serve You. In Your Name, Amen

These are not my words. I found this prayer at https://www.holylandprayer.com/

You haven’t done this before…

One of the daily pleasures in my life is the devotional I receive in my inbox each morning from Dr. Micha Jazz. He writes with the humility of someone who knows he’s on a journey, and not the assuredness verging on arrogance of some who seem to think they’ve reached their destination and have all the answers. But while he continues to seek, he’s built up a great store of quiet wisdom that he shares along with honest accounts of his struggles, disappointments… and hope.

Today I want to share his devotional from 19 October 2017, titled “You haven’t done this before.” I expect I will share others in the future. You can subscribe to his email or podcast version of the devotional at Be Still & Know.

“You haven’t done this before. Ask, using my name, and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy.”

John 16:24 NLT

Ageing has its benefits. While I don’t like the aches and pains, or the physical challenges around the garden that some years ago I’d have taken in my stride, I do enjoy the ability to see life in context. Where once I was a blind slave to consumerism, feeding and serving my acquisitive nature, with the benefit of age I have found freedom to live without, in contrast to living wanting.

Understanding is one thing, practise something else altogether! I recall always wanting the latest technology to play with. My family teased me relentlessly as I begged, borrowed (yet never stole) to acquire the latest gadget. I am an early adopter by nature and stretched myself financially to buy a first-generation Prius hybrid car. And as for books, my shelves were filled with partially read volumes I coveted and purchased. Today, I am pleased to say I am free from all that. I now know what I want and why.

My prayer life was also pretty acquisitive in the early days. I mistook Jesus’ invitation to ask for anything I wanted as a blank cheque to fill my life with my own desires. In fact, Jesus was speaking to his disciples about Pentecost, when they would receive the Holy Spirit and subsequently discern what it was that the kingdom on earth required of them, and their dynamic friendship with God. In other words, praying is always to seek to see God’s will happen on the earth. Where once I prayed through a list, now I simply offer those I am praying for to God, and hold them in God’s presence that God’s will might be done in their life on earth.

The joy that flows from prayer is not about securing my material happiness, but about seeking the presence of God in the earth. This may have a material effect, but such an effect is no objective measure of the work of God. Jesus also invites us to go on praying (see Luke 18:1-8). Pray and then pray again, and after that pray again.

The Light In The Darkness

Lord Jesus,

When a shadow is cast over my life,

When my energy drains,

When my joy fades,

When nothing in this world satisfies me,

I look to you,

My soul cries out to you,

I long for you,

I speak to you,

In my weariness,

In my sadness,

In my frustration,

In my anger,

I call to you,

I reach for you,

I kneel before you,

I worship you,

Too many burdens weigh me down,

Too many voices fill my ears,

Too much pain distracts my mind,

Too many dreams disturb my sleep,

I lay it all before you,

I confess it all to you,

I open my heart to you,

I trust you,

Lord Jesus,

You are my strength,

You are my truth,

You are my companion,

My friend,

You take the strain,

You point the way,

You understand,

You make sense of the world,

You walk with me,

You cry with me,

You lift my head,

You calm my heart,

You are my shield,

You are my rock,

You are my saviour,

You are my life,

You are,

You are,

You are.


Hebrews 12:1-2, Psalm 23, Matthew 11:28-30, Isaiah 50:10, John 8:12

Cri de Coeur

It’s hard to express in words how much Pastor Samuel Cole means to me. I first met him around the time I gave my life to Christ, and he has been close to my heart ever since, although I hardly see him these days, to my great regret.

Sam introduced me to some great music in one of his side roles as a gospel DJ. But more importantly he showed me what it means to live as an ambassador for Christ. His love for God, and for people, shone brightly. His passion for improving the lives of young people, and bringing them to knowledge of Jesus, was clear to see. His faith, energy and joy were an inspiration.

And on a personal level, Sam has helped to shape my faith, and my life, in such a positive way I could never find suitable words to thank him. We rarely had time to share one to one conversations, but when we did they were very precious. I vividly remember one evening in Leicester during a church event. Sam took me on a guided tour of an area he was redeveloping for worship services and talked to me excitedly about his plans. I think he knew I had something on my mind though, and this was a pretext for giving me an opportunity to share it.

I spoke to him about my concerns. The details of the conversation will remain private, but I can tell you that he shared insights from his own life, he spoke with real compassion and understanding, and he filled me with hope, determination and faith which have never left me since then, even through my lowest points. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without Pastor Sam’s intervention. I would be a much poorer human being in many ways.

Nearly five years ago Sam’s wife Dena phoned me and asked me to come and see them. I did so, and when I sat down with Sam he revealed to me that he had been diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease. It was shocking news. I remember laying my hand on him and praying what I felt was a pathetic prayer. I just didn’t know what to say, but I cried from my heart for healing.

From that day to this I continue to pray to God for a miracle. I pray that one day Sam will stand, will walk, will speak, and will declare and demonstrate God’s goodness and omnipotence, just as he was doing when I first came to know him. I pray that until that day comes, Sam, Dena and their children will never lose hope, but that they will continue to trust in our Lord, experience His peace, and live in His strength.

I’m not just writing to pay tribute to this man, who I call Pastor, but who is also my brother and my friend. I want to ask you for practical help. There is currently a crowdfunding page created by Sam and Dena, attempting to raise £12,000 to buy a standing wheelchair for Sam, which will improve his quality of life, and which would actually be an answer to one part of my prayer for him.

Here is the page: https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/dena-cole-1

I don’t have a huge number of followers, but if each one of you was to donate just £21 (about $26) then we would reach the target. I know that for some of you that is more than you could afford, but some of you could probably donate much more.

I ask you to pray for Pastor Sam and his family and friends. I ask you to prayerfully consider giving what you can to this cause which is very dear to me. And I ask you to share this story as widely as possible.

If, by the time you read this, the crowdfunding project is over, then please consider donating to the Motor Neurone Disease Association to help others with this debilitating illness.

Thank you all for reading this, and thank you Sam for the light you’ve brought into my life.

Just Pray


And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

This, then, is how you should pray:

‘Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.’

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 6:5-14 (NIV)