Self-Imposed Exile

It’s far too easy to become self-obsessed. It’s a trap I’ve fallen into recently. It’s not that I’ve withdrawn from the world, or that I’m thinking only of myself, but that I’m too much a part of everything that concerns me. My prayers are too much about getting my life in order, oh and by the way, Lord, please look after these people too.

Anyone who knows anything about salvation can tell you that it’s pointless waiting until you’re good enough for Christ to save you – the whole point is that none of us are ever good enough (mostly due to our selfishness and pride), but we receive our salvation as a free gift, by God’s grace, if we choose to accept it.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. (Romans 3:23-24)

But in a similar way I want God now to fix all my weaknesses and the issues in my life, because somehow I have this crazy idea that I can’t be any use to anyone until I’m made perfect. What nonsense! God has given me all the gifts I need, all the qualities and all the abilities. No, I can’t do everything, and I can’t help everyone. But I can do my part, and each day God is giving me opportunities to make a difference, and to do what he is calling me to do.

Maybe when I start taking those opportunities instead of worrying about my inadequacies, I’ll find some of those weaknesses and issues start to melt away.

The truth is that when you worry too much about yourself you not only exile yourself from people who love you, and people who need your love, but you cut yourself off from God. You might be praying constantly to Him but you’re not hearing His reply, or seeing it all around you.